Awhile back, I made “Wendy’s bowl” as a thank you to the attorney who’s finally been able to drag the dumpster fire of my divorce closer to the finish line. For the last several years, Tinley has been working alongside of Wendy to make sure all the little details are taken care of. Keeping track of documents, printing off the excessive reams of “evidence” that gets sent, making appointments, making phone calls, and even providing diet coke when she knows the meetings are going to run long and I’m under caffeinated. She also happens to be a very nice person with a smile for everyone.

This whole divorce nightmare really has been a circus! As with most circuses, The spotlight tends to shine brightest on the ringmaster (judge). In the other rings, under their own spotlights are the the graceful acrobats (My attorneys), the clowns (her seemingly endless string of attorneys), and the other acts that play to an audience (waiting attorneys, other litigants, and the random stranger). All of that, however, is dependent on some poor bastard who never gets to actually see the show, because they’re stuck back in the office, getting permits, arranging for porta-pots, getting flyers printed, buying hay for the elephants, and a million other things that have to be done to keep the circus going and the tents from collapsing. Tinley was that person for my divorce circus!

This bowl was made from a piece of spalted maple that a friend gave me earlier this spring. He had left the log sitting on a pallet in the middle of his woods. By the time I got it, there were literally different types of fungus growing on it and it had this black slimy “stuff” covering both ends of the log. I figured the wood was too far into the rotting process to be useful and would surely have cracks throughout that would make it impossible to turn, but I took the wood anyway because my friend really wanted to see what I could make out of it.

I took the log home and cut the slimy ends off so I could see what I was dealing with. To my surprise, there weren’t any cracks and the spalting on the end grain was insane! The thing about spalted wood is you can never tell by looking at the end grain how far into the rest of the tree the coloring goes. It all depends on the fungus that’s growing in the wood, how “aggressive” it is, and what kind of wood it’s growing in. While I was roughing out the bowl, the wood was so wet there was water flying off of the blank to the point my shirt was absolutely soaked and the ceiling had a line where water had been flung up. After a month in the desiccant, it had finally stopped losing water/weight, so I set it aside for the final turning.

The really cool thing about this bowl is the way it spalted. Not to jump too far into the weeds, but when the fungus grown in wood, it creates “zone lines” in the wood, which are usually black in color and cause the distinct coloration. In this case, there were black lines, green lines, and even some blue lines (that quickly turned into a dark grey as the wood was exposed to air). From my understanding, that’s a VERY uncommon occurrence for maple.

This is my thank you gift to Tinley, may small way of saying thank you for all the work, the smiles, and the encouragement she gave me while the circus was in town.